Friday Funday CXIV
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1620 hrs
Friday Funday brings you some fun and interesting links from my travels around the internet.
Stick Magnetic Ribbons on Your SUV [del.icio.us]
I know, it's a steal from boingboing, but it's too good to pass up.
Roll On [del.icio.us]
I'm not sure how to describe this game, but it's kind of addicting and harder than it looks.
Cockroach Dream [del.icio.us]
This game is seriously weird.
All Look Same? [del.icio.us]
Can you tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans? I managed a measly six out of eighteen. Don't laugh, it's harder than it looks... Er, seems.
You Are Mighty [del.icio.us]
After you find out how mighty I am, replace my name with yours (make sure you follow the firstname.lastname format).
Hello, Miss?
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1457 hrs
Ugh.
I feel so crappy. I started coming down with a cold yesterday morning, and by evening, I was laid up on the couch, which is where I've been since.
It sucks. My body aches, my head aches, my back aches, and my throat is killing me. I'm always thirsty, so I drink a lot of water, which makes me have to pee constantly. I'm always too hot or too cold, usually both at the same time. Because of that, I constantly have a heavy blanket over me, which is part of the reason I get too hot. I sweat all the time. I woke up several times last night and every time, my t-shirt was soaked with sweat, which, of course, made me cold.
The worst part? I went to the dentist this morning to have a loose filling replaced, and I have to go again tomorrow to have my teeth cleaned.
A lot of people keep saying that it's pre-wedding stress and that I need to heal up before we go to Hawaii. Too true. Really, though, I'd much rather be sick now than in two weeks.
The Sabbatical Trilogy
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 2106 hrs
In Friday Funday CXIII, I linked to The Sabbatical, a video that Kris and I shot while I was in Seattle.
One week later, The Sabbatical is a trilogy. For your viewing pleasure, here are The Sabbatical Reloaded and The Sabbatical Revolutions.
We'd really appreciate it if you could give the videos a favorable vote. We think this is YouTube front page stuff! Enjoy!
Webcam Software Chellenge Challenge
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 2138 hrs
The webcam software I use is called Webcam32. I found it in late 1999 and purchased a copy for twenty-five dollars (it eventually got up to around forty dollars). Not only does it have a lot of really great features, but new versions of the software are free.
Pretty great, right?
The last update happened years ago, but several features still don't work that well (and never have). From time to time, I would check out the website of Surveyor Corporation, the company who made Webcam32, to see if there were any updates. About a week ago, I checked and found this:
"After September 15, 2006, we will no longer be selling Webcam32."
They'll continue to support registered users (like me), but they're selling their source code (which, in case you haven't figured it out yet, means that no further updates are coming).
In light of this, I have been looking around at other webcam software. Webcam32 will continue to work for me for a while, but eventually I'm going to have to make a change. With that in mind, I'd like to get the upper-hand on the situation. I could buy another program, but the one I like the best (webcamXP Pro) is about eighty dollars.
So here's where I'm going with this. I know at least one of my readers is a programmer. I'm hoping that he (and perhaps a few others) will join me in attempting to create webcam software that is both good and open source.
I say "both good and open source," because there are a few open source webcam programs out there, but they're all pretty mediocre. I found three (for Windows), and they are:
Fwink - This is by far the best of the three. It has the most features and a fairly decent UI.
Dorgem - This seems to be the next best. The UI is pretty dull and the features are limited.
Webcam2000 - Boring UI and basic features.
So what features would I want to see in webcam software? This isn't a comprehensive list, but a few obvious ones are:
- Works in Windows 9x+
- Support for pretty much any camera that you could plug into the computer.
- FTP uploads
- Upload images in multiple formats (jpg, gif, png, etc)
- Upload multiple images (main, thumbnail, etc)
- Ability to define size of main and thumb (640x480, 320x240, etc)
- Overlay - text and images (esp. png files with alpha channels)
- Upload timer (e.g. Once every N seconds)
- Countdown timer
- Local save
- Motion capture (based on % change)
- Basic image processing (flip, rotate, etc)
- Support for multiple video sources (camera rotator)
- Offline image (with rotator)
- Minimise to tray
Take a look at the features in Fwink to get an idea of what I'm looking for.
I think we have a unique community who will be able to develop a program that will look good and operate well. I don't really have a timeline or a deadline, so this isn't a high priority. It's pretty much a, "whenever you have time to work on it," type of thing.
So, who's on board?
Friday Funday CXIII
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1435 hrs
Friday Funday brings you some fun and interesting links from my travels around the internet.
Who Called Us [del.icio.us]
The past couple of days, someone in Spokane has been calling my cell phone several times a day, but I don't recognise the number and they never leave a message. Unfortunately, this site didn't help me figure out who it is (neither did the Anywho), but it might help you if you're in a similar situation.
How It Should Have Ended [del.icio.us]
"Sometimes movies don't finish the way we'd like," is the tagline of this site, which seeks to give movies alternate, usually humorous endings. Their videos are encoded with Divx, and Firefox poops itself when I try to load them. If the same thing happens to you, some of the videos can be found at YouTube.
Blufr [del.icio.us]
How much weird stuff do you know?
Sabbatical [del.icio.us]
I know a bunch of you already saw this on Kris' blog, but I know that some of my readers don't read his blog, so I'm posting it here as well.
Airport Security [del.icio.us]
I don't know if this game is making fun of airport security, or trying to get people to feel sorry for TSA screeners.
Comment Spam #2
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 0737 hrs
In response to the comments/suggestions made by Will and Kris on yesterday's post:
The thing I don't like about the CAPTCHA technique is that it's impossible to have a good balance between form and function. That is to say, if it works at peak efficiency, then it's an accessibility nightmare. If it works at peak efficiency for accessibility, then it's basically useless at thwarting spam.
I also don't want to make a rule that you can only include one link per post, because sometimes it's entirely appropriate to post several links. Granted, it's rare that anyone who isn't a spammer would need to do that, but you never know.
A great real-world example is on the blog of a friend. In a recent post, she and I were at odds about something, and I was trying to make a point by linking to five different pages that I felt helped support my view. The commenting system that she uses (HaloScan) only allows three links per post (it did politely tell me that I had tripped the spam filter), which meant I had to post two separate comments.
Another method, which wasn't suggested, is to allow only registered users to post comments. If your blog is hosted at Blogger and you use their built-in commenting system (as I know several of you do), then you have the option to disallow anonymous comments, thereby reducing the amount of comment spam you receive (which runs rampant on Blogger). Again, I am averse to such a system because of the impact it would have on "casual" users. I've had the Gravatar option in place for... Um... A while now (how long has it been?), and how many of my users actually have them? Including me, I think it's about three. Maybe two. How many people do you think would sign up just to be allowed to post a comment?
In all three cases, it becomes a usability issue, insofar as it's an added layer of bullshit that users have to sift through in order to post a comment, which may lead some users to decide that it isn't worth the effort (no matter how little effort that is). Although I must admit, requiring users to put some thought into their comments in order to make them "worth it" is probably not a bad thing.
Really what it boils down to is user experience. Do I want a site that's pleasant and easy to use (no digs about the current state of the site's pleasantness or pleasantlessness, please), or do I want a site that suspects every user of being a spammer? Do I want a utopian site, or an Orwellian one?
Because my previous paragraph reminded me of it, I'll wrap this up with the Morning Litany for a Web Server Administrator (an oldie, but a goodie).
"All data is fraudulent.
All communications are attempted hacks.
All clients are thieves.
Technology is only my first line of defense."
Comment Spam
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1218 hrs
Holy fuck.
Kris, what has your blog done to me? In the past couple of weeks (ever since we started talking about comment spam on your blog), I've gotten more comment spam on my blog than I ever have in the past five years!
Spammers must die.
I really need to update my site. I wonder how I'll combat the spam...
Avast!
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 2155 hrs
Ahoy, me hearties! Today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day!
'Tis also a FSM holiday, so grab a wench and quaff some grog, ye scallywags!
AEA Wrap Up
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1918 hrs
I spent today at An Event Apart. There's no way I could possibly describe everything, so I'll just list some highlights.
Method Arts threw a party last night where Kris and I got free T-shirts. Beer is still gross.
During the conference, I sat next to Pete LePage, the Product Manager of the Developer Division of Internet Explorer 7 (I actually met him last night). He's a really nice guy and he had some really encouraging things to say about IE7 and Windows Vista.
Jethro (from Throbosho) was there. He's also a web developer.
Zeldman's presentation has a slide in it titled "Underwear."
Zeldman: "So what it says is--"
At this point, a woman in the audience sneezed. Everyone laughed.
Zeldman was saying something about the difference between PCs and Macs. I think he was dogging PCs a bit (I don't exactly remember). As soon as he finished saying that, his Mac's screen flashed blue (the same colour of blue as the BSOD).
I ate lunch with Eric Meyer (he came over to our table and asked if he could sit down at the last empty seat).
Kelly Goto (critiquing a website): "I'm not going to harsh on you."
[pause]
"Well, I am going to harsh on you a little bit."
Zeldman: "The client payed, like, a million dollars for these colours and they're vomit and chimp brains."
As I was walking to the car from the after party, some guy walking down the street asked me if I knew where he could "get some grass."
Highlight of the day: Having my photo taken with Zeldman and Eric Meyer (I'll post the photo soon).
Friday Funday CXII
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1633 hrs
Friday Funday brings you some fun and interesting links from my travels around the internet.
Naughty American History [del.icio.us]
Now this makes learning American history fun (unless you're Mike, in which case learning American history is already fun). Just how not safe for work this is depends on how many questions you answer correctly.
First Person Shooter in Real Life 4 [del.icio.us]
This is kind of neat. It's fairly well executed, although I found a number of bugs. I haven't bothered looking for versions 1, 2, or 3, since this one is only "okay."
Ken Miller on Intelligent Design [del.icio.us]
Oh. My. God. If you have two hours to spare, watch biologist Ken Miller take Intelligent Design apart (his speech is actually only about an hour. Or is it an hour and a half? I can't remember).
500kV Switch Opening [del.icio.us]
A short but really cool video of 500,000 volts of electricity arcing. It's damn cool.
Adult Searches by Countries [del.icio.us]
Have you ever wondered what kind of porn people in other countries search for? Now you can find out! This is probably safe for work, but I'm guessing that if your boss walks up and sees the words, "anal fisting" on your screen, you'll be in a spot of trouble.
Geek-Gasm
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1232 hrs
Wow. That's all I can say right now.
As you may know, I'm headed over to Seattle this weekend because on Monday, I will be attending AEA. At the end of the day, the presenters will be critiquing some of the sites created by the attendees. They sent out a "call for submissions" e-mail, to which I responded (might as well make the most of it, right?).
So just now, I check my e-mail and there's a message from none other than Jeffery Zeldman. Wow, right? So the icing on this cake (besides that he enjoyed my sense of humour and agreed with my opinion of the site) was that the e-mail was CCed to Eric Meyer!
I'm in the company of gods.
Adventures with Emily
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 0724 hrs
Today, Emily, Morah and I ran some (mostly) wedding-related errands.
It was all pretty ho-hum and normal, but as we've learned, no day with Emily is ever that ho-hum.
After we picked up my wedding ring and a few other things for which we hadn't gone to the mall (why is it so hard to walk out of a bookstore without any books?), we decided we had better get moving to our next stop. We walked out to the car, and Emily dug around in her purse, looking for her keys. She couldn't find them. She looks in the window and checks the ignition. Yep, there they are. And all the doors are locked.
Okay, no problem, we'll just get mall security to come Slim Jim us. No dice. The (hot) girl working there told us that they don't have a Slim Jim (which we suspect is bollocks), but she could give us the number for a locksmith. Fine, whatever.
But we all know that a locksmith is going to take his time showing up, Slim Jim us in record time, then charge fifty bucks for it. Instead, we headed over to Sears in the hopes that they sold Slim Jims. Nope.
Okay, one last idea. Emily called a co-worker who lived nearby and asked if she could bring a wire hanger or something, which she agreed to do.
A short while later, Emily's friend showed up with a long metal rod. Emily made a little hook on the end, shoved down the door, and began to fiddle around.
"Have you done this before, Emily?"
"I've seen them do it on T.V."
"Great..."
It took a little while, but eventually, she got one of the door unlocked. Hooray, time to rejoice and drive away, right? Well, first we have to get the metal rod =back out= of the door. Bum.
More fiddling, more rod-bending, and more people taking a stab at it, but in the end, I got the rod out.
We didn't make it to our next stop until much later that day, but it was a very important stop: Men's Warehouse.
I'm getting married four weeks from Saturday, and I still don't have a tuxedo! After going to Men's Warehouse, I still don't have a tuxedo; I have a suit.
An expensive suit, but a damn nice one. So why did I buy a suit instead of renting a tux? Well, a few reasons, but it basically boiled down to two things:
1) Once I found out the difference between a tux and a suit (the only difference is that a tux has satin on the lapel and a satin stripe down the side of the trousers), I realised that I don't like tuxedos.
2) ROI (return on investment). Because I would be in Hawaii for two weeks, I would have had to rent the tux for two weeks. Then, when we get back, we're going to have another reception in Spokane, which would necessitate yet another rental. So pretty much, I would be paying the same amount of money, but would have nothing to show for it. This way, I pay more or less the same amount of money, but I have a really nice suit, tailored just for me, that I can keep forever.
I think I made the right choice. Especially considering what a nice suit it is and that the price was basically the same.
As an added bonus, Morah thinks I look really sexy in it. And really, isn't that what matters most?
Five Years Later
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 0823 hrs
The terrorists are winning.
I want that printed in large, block letters on the front of a t-shirt so I can wear it through airport security whenever I fly.
As you well know, today marks five years since nineteen terrorists flew two commercial airliners into the World Trade Center towers in New York, one into the Pentagon, and one into a field in Pennsylvania. It was a tragic event in our nation's history and one that should be remembered.
That having been said, I wish everyone would stop talking about it.
A culture of fear.
"Now, the way I see it, you can't have terrorism without terror. The strategy of terrorism is to use isolated acts of violence to instill fear and confusion into the population at large. A small number of people can incapacitate a society by leveraging our inability to understand risk.
"As long as a small group of people can inflict mass panic across a large population, the tactic itself will remain viable. One way to deal a blow to the effectiveness of terrorism is to deal with the terror itself." - Ze Frank
The problem is, we're accustomed to living in a culture of fear. Advertisers play upon our fears to sell us products, media outlets report with an "if it bleeds, it leads" mentality, and our government over-hypes any and every risk in order to keep us complacent and unquestioning.
"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one." - Benjamin Franklin
For a long time, airport security has had us all walk though metal detectors. Okay, no problem. Too bad that's not very effective.
Now we have to x-ray our shoes. Okay, I guess I can see that. It's a little annoying, but I admit, before 9/11, I had considered hiding my Leatherman in my shoe after it was almost confiscated in LAX (I had steel-toe boots which sometimes set the metal detector off. I was never once asked to remove my shoes. I never did hide anything in my shoes, and in hindsight, I'm glad. Had I been caught, I would have been in big trouble).
Now we can't bring liquids or gels onto the plane. What the fuck? Water? I can't bring my own water onto the plane? Or lip balm? Or pudding? Why do we just roll over and give up our rights? Especially since banning liquids and gels is a stupid waste of time. What's next?
"Well, there was a shoe bomber once, so no shoes are allowed."
"Laptop batteries keep blowing up, so no laptops are allowed."
"The liquid bombers were going to use an iPod or similar device to detonate their bomb, so no electronics are allowed."
"Philips just came out with a fabric that has electronics sewn into it, so no fabric is allowed. This includes clothing of any kind."
"Every terrorist plot we have seen so far has included having multiple terrorists on each plane working together, so passengers will no longer be allowed to interact with one another."
See how stupid it could get? All of these are plausible concerns based on actual events. But at what point would people revolt? How much comfort and freedom are we willing to trade just to feel safe (even if we aren't)? We're already giving up all liquids, would you give up your shoes? Would you give up your iPod?
Would you be willing to stop flying? In my opinion, that's what it's going to take. We need to show the TSA that their bullshit security measures aren't protecting us, they're turning us away.
Now, unfortunately, I had already booked my flight to Hawaii before the shit hit the fan. And, to be honest, I probably wouldn't have changed my plans if I had known then what I know now. But I will make every effort to boycott air travel whenever possible from now on, until things are done right. TSA rules outline what is and is not allowed on a plane, but even they admit that what gets through security is at the discretion of the screener.
According to the TSA's website, their motto is, "Vigilant, Effective, Efficient." I don't think so.
Quinn has it right, "I think someone should try to blow up a plane with a piece of ID, just to watch the TSA's mind implode."
Business as usual.
Shortly after the attacks, New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani implored the public to go back to work and to return to the lives they once lead. He said that only by going back to the way we were could we defeat the terrorists. And he's right.
Every time we look askant at someone with dark skin, we're giving the terrorists what they want.
Every time we ban something from being allowed on a plane, we're giving the terrorists what they want.
Every time we sacrifice a civil liberty in the name of security, no matter how secure it actually makes us, we're giving the terrorists what they want.
The only way to fight back is not to get worked up about it.
But that's not good enough for some people. Some people don't want to forget. Some people want everyone else to remember. Some people want to make September 11th a holiday (actually, it already is), erect a memorial, and build the Freedom Tower.
All right. Fine. Whatever. If you want to give the terrorists what they want, I guess I can't stop you. I agree that there should be some sort of memorial. The Freedom Tower? Penn & Teller will set you straight on that. But Patriot Day? Fuck that. Why don't we have a special holiday on April 19th?
What? You don't know what's so special about April 19th? That's the day when 168 people were killed in another terrorist attack on U.S. soil. In fact, before 9/11, it was the deadliest act of terrorism in the nation's history. April 19th, 1995 was the day of the Oklahoma City bombing. Aren't their lives important? How can we give some people a holiday and not others? How many people have to die before they get a memorial? How many does it take for a tower? How many for a holiday?
"Over the past five years, we have waged an unprecedented campaign against terror at home and abroad, and that campaign has succeeded in protecting the homeland." - George W. Bush
How many terrorist attacks against the U.S. were there in the five years prior to 9/11? Oh, right, none. How many after? Also none. Is that because our government has "waged an unprecedented campaign against terror at home and abroad," or is it just because, honestly, terror plots are few and far between? It's probably a little of both.
Still, Bush would have us believe that there have been many successes in "the war against terror," and that our civil liberties are not being sacrificed in vain. The media helps to perpetuate this facade with constant reminders of what happened five years ago, and by over-reporting every incident, no matter how insignificant.
That's not to say that the liquid bombing plot was insignificant. But let's not forget that the plan was foiled! British authorities knew about the terrorists and their plot well in advance! They only made their move because of pressure from the U.S. government, and as a result, half of the terror cell managed to escape.
Ignoring the obvious.
It's time to let go. It's time to move on. If we keep looking at what has happened, we'll forget to look at what will happen.
I know the concept of privatizing the TSA is a controversial one, and perhaps I'm not thinking it through clearly, but it seems to me that it's a good idea.
Why not let each airport have its own security team? That way, each airport could be run according to how large of a threat they think there is. Security at GEG (Spokane International) would probably be fairly casual, whereas at LAX, JFK, and ORD (Chicago O'Hare), security would be a bitch (and rightly so).
In fact, why not let each airline be responsible for security? There are already far too many airlines on the brink of bankruptcy, this would help whittle down the competition; especially if a terrorist is able to get past a particular airline's security checkpoint.
Are liquids going to be banned forever? If so, what happens then? Civilians will be inconvenienced and the terrorists will just find another way.
Moreover, we're only concerning ourselves with airports. Why is that? Because the terrorists used an airplane once? What about foreign airports? What about ship yards? What about buses, trains, and subways? What about medical supplies? What about stadiums, movie theatres, and shopping malls? What about hospitals? What about hotels? What about everywhere?
"But maybe the rain is really to blame, so I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom." - Dr. Frank-N-Furter, The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Instead of trying to solve the problem by fixing the cause, our government would rather spend its time and our money on protecting against things that have already happened. What a horrible mode of thought. Yet we see it time and time again. Airplanes are hijacked, so airport security is beefed up. A terrorist plot is foiled that involves liquid explosives on airplanes, so all liquids must be banned from the plane.
You know how the NRA says that guns don't kill people, people kill people? It's pretty much the same thing with terrorism. Sports drinks don't blow up planes, terrorists do. So why the hell is the TSA so obsessed with looking for knives, guns, and bombs? I mean, yeah, it's important to stop those things from making their way onto the plane, but it's also imperative that we stop the terrorists from ever getting on the plane.
Take a quick read through this article about Israeli airport security. It's interesting to consider that, because of how Israeli security is handled, no flight leaving Ben Gurion has ever been hijacked.
Nothing to fear but fear itself.
What happened five years ago was a terrible tragedy. Many tears have been shed over it and I suspect many more will. We should never forget that nearly three thousand innocent people were killed. But we shouldn't be reminded about it every day, or even every year. We shouldn't let it be a dark cloud hanging over us. Just as you must occasionally ignore a child, we must not give the terrorists what they want: our attention and our fear.
"Whether we like it or not, terrorist attacks on Americans are now part of the global reality. They will continue to happen. Many places around the globe have had to deal with a similar reality for years. India, Ireland, England, Spain, Russia, to name a few. In many cases, these societies have pulled together and not allowed isolated acts of violence to tear at their fiber. Like disease and the forces of nature, it's a risk that we have to rationally come to terms with. The government's responsibility is to make sure that fear and terror are not disproportionate to the reality of the situation." - Ze Frank.
We must demand that our government change its foreign policy -- the reason why al-Qaeda launched the attack -- as well as take a proactive stance against terrorism that does not take away from our civil liberties. The president must be forthright with the public and stop trying to scare us into complacency.
But try telling that to three million people. I fear not the threat of terrorism, but the threat of my own government. I submit a quote, which I hope can make its way into the national conscience, "I do not fear evil itself. What I fear is evil purporting to be good."
Friday Funday CXI
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1254 hrs
Friday Funday brings you some fun and interesting links from my travels around the internet.
Says-It [del.icio.us]
Hey, that vinyl record has my name on it! That church sign names me as the one true lord! How is it done? With Says-It!
Gateway [del.icio.us]
This is an awesome little puzzle game where you play a robot who has to solve various puzzles so he can... Um... Well, I'm not really sure what the point is, but it's damn cool. At the moment, I'm in the room after the TV. I haven't had a chance to play around in there much, but I think I know what to do...
YouTube: Movie Mistakes [del.icio.us]
This is just a search for the phrase "movie mistakes" on YouTube, but the results are pretty fun to watch. Some of these are legitimate goofs, but others are just nit-picking, in my opinion.
Sexual urges of men and women [del.icio.us]
Safe for work. It's a hilarious story about a man, his wife, and their sexual differences.
Top 15 Strangest Coincidences [del.icio.us]
If these are all true, they're simply amazing!
Vanished
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 2234 hrs
I've been meaning to post this all week, and now it's Friday and I'm "back posting" this to Thursday. Man, I sure know how to procrastinate.
I've been watching most of the new FOX shows and, while I like what I've seen overall, one show just isn't doing it for me. That show is Vanished.
Vanished suffers from the same problem that Head Cases had: We just don't care about the protagonist. In fact, I only care about one character on the show. I'll tell you who it is in just a moment, but first, let's run down some of the other primary and secondary characters, and how I feel about them.
Special Agent Graham Kelton - He's the protagonist. His back story is that this is the first case he's worked in, I don't know, months or years or something. He was working this other case, followed an order from his superior, and because of that, the kid he was trying to protect was killed. So now his attitude is, "I'm a bad ass, know it all who was right when they told me I was wrong. From now on, I'm going to do things my way. Down with the establishment!" In other words, he's a jackass and I don't care about him.
Agent Lin Mei - She's Agent Kelton's plucky young sidekick. She's also a bit of a know it all, but at least she's nicer than he is. I have yet to find a reason to care about her.
Senator Jeffrey Collins - Senator Collins and Agent Kelton seem to be locked in this battle for the title of World's Biggest Asshole. Neither of them likes the other and every chance they get, they try to make things hard for the other guy. They're always very curt with one another and Senator Collins doesn't like to follow Kelton's advice. Personally, I think Collins will win the jerk-off (see what I did there? It's like a cook-off, but they're competing for who can be the bigger jerk, which makes it a jerk-off).
Here's why I =really= don't care about him: His wife goes missing. He saunters out into the lobby looking for her. "Have you seen my wife?" "No." "She was with a hotel employee who had a goatee." "Hotel staff aren't allowed to have facial hair, sir." So then, he flip his lid and goes nuts trying to find his wife. He runs outside and finds the macaroni necklace she was wearing (from an earlier scene) on the ground. He stoops down, picks up the necklace, and looks around frantically. The camera pulls up on a beautiful crane shot, Senator Collins drops to his knees, thrusts his fists in the cold night air, and cries out for his wife. "SARA!"
At least, that's how it should have gone down.
Instead, he saunters outside (on a whim), picks up the macaroni necklace, looks around calmly, then walks back inside the hotel. "Oh well, she's not out here. I guess I'll get some coffee." He doesn't actually say that, but I can imagine it. It's all so ho-hum. He doesn't seem to care that his wife has just been abducted.
Also, did I mention that he's a politician? So he's a grumpy, difficult, apathetic politician who doesn't even care about his wife (or, as we later find out, his children). Why, then, should I care about him?
Sara Collins - Why don't I care about the victim of a kidnapping? Well, for starters, it doesn't seem like she was kidnapped. It seems more like she ran away. In fact, as we learn at the end of the first episode, this isn't the first time she's run away.
The first time we see Sara Collins, she's on the phone. We don't know who she's talking to, but she tells them to, "never call here again." That sounds kind of sinister, doesn't it?
Really, though, it boils down to the fact that we don't get enough time to care about her. We're told what a great person she is, but by the end of the first episode, we find out what a great person she is not.
Judy Nash and Adam Putnam - Judy Nash is a nosey reporter that's banging Adam Putnam, her dopey camera guy. She's better than most of the other characters, but her lack of scruples means I still don't care about her. I'm lumping him in there because they're practically joined at the hip anyway.
Max and Marcy Collins - Talk about two ungrateful little brats. Their mother is kidnapped and what do they do? Marcy runs off with her boyfriend and Max sneaks around behind his father's back to talk to his real mom (Sara is their step-mother). In a way they're both victims, but neither of them acts the part. They're both being sneaky and underhanded, so I don't care about them.
Ben Wilson - This is Marcy's boyfriend. He's a scummy guy who comes home one night with blood on his shirt and a sack full of money. Later, we find out that the blood belongs to the guy who is suspected of kidnapping Sara (he turned up dead pretty quickly). Ben is kind of a jerk to Marcy, and he obviously had something to do with her mother's kidnapping (although he denies it), so I don't care about him. He's could be Mother Theresa in disguise and I still wouldn't like the guy (then again, I'm not a huge fan of Mother Theresa).
Jessica Nevins - The ex-wife of Senator Collins and Max and Marcy's birth mother. She's a dodgy character at best. From what we're told on the show, I'm pretty sure we're meant not to like her, so I don't.
Peter Manning - Finally, we come to Peter Manning. He's the only character I like. He's a blue-collar fisherman. He works hard to earn a living and, as far as I can tell, is a decent, respectable guy. He sees Sara on TV when they report her as having been kidnapped and immediately calls the police with information. He's a good, upstanding citizen, right? Right.
In fact, we get some back story about him (in the second episode, I think). It turns out, he used to date Sara Collins; except that when he knew her, she went by a different name. Their back story is cute, but sad. They meet, he falls in love, and he proposes to her. His boat is leaving to go out to sea and all the wives and girlfriends are down on the docks saying good-bye. She never shows up and he never sees her again.
Because he's the only character who isn't an asshole, because he's the only character who's truly innocent, he's the only character I like.
And that is why I don't like Vanished.
Friday Funday CX
Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1103 hrs
Friday Funday brings you some fun and interesting links from my travels around the internet.
Hocus Pocus Striptease [del.icio.us]
She's not that good at hiding the fake thumb, but at least we know there really is nothing up her sleeve. Or in her skirt. Or her bra. Or her panties. Or her...
Weeds Masturbation Etiquette [del.icio.us]
See, guys have it hard as well. Heh, have it hard. I don't think the textbook connotation of "avuncular" took this into account.
Hawkpeng79 [del.icio.us]
I don't know what else to call it, but it's a pretty fun game involving lasers. I played a game similar to this years ago and really liked it, so I was happy to find this one. I'm currently stuck on level 18 (of 20 25). Once you master all 20 25 levels, try your hand at what appears to be the sequel, although you start on level 26.
How to Crash Internet Explorer [del.icio.us]
All it takes is one line of code, 61 bytes in size. This is simply beautiful.
Crazy Japanese Port-O-Potty Prank [del.icio.us]
Sometimes, I am =so= glad that I don't live in Japan.
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