Plasticware Thief

closePlease note: This post was published over a year ago, so please be aware that its content may not be quite so accurate anymore. Also, the format of the site has changed since it was published, so please excuse any formatting issues.

In one of the drawers in the break room at work is usually an assortment of plasticware. It’s handy to not have to bring my own knives, forks, and spoons to work (although, in the interest of being green, I probably should). I don’t know who’s in charge in buying new plasticware when it runs out, but nearly every time we end up with a different brand. It’s pretty irritating when I get to like the plasticware, only to have it suddenly switch to something else.

Petty annoyances aside, someone at work is stealing the plasticware. Now I’ll admit, I took a few extra knives, forks, and spoons down to my desk in case, as has happened previously, there aren’t any left in the break room. Thankfully, I haven’t had to use them yet. They’re some of the nicest pieces of plasticware we’ve had so far. They’re made of hard, clear plastic and are very sturdy.

The plasticware thief seemed to think so as well, because they all disappeared about two weeks ago.

Before this wonderful, sturdy plasticware, we had crappy, flimsy plasticware. After the good stuff disappeared, the crappy stuff showed up again. The thief must have stolen the crappy plasticware way back when, then been enticed by the new, good plasticware and switched them out.

How do I know a switch was made and someone didn’t just go buy the crappy stuff again? Volume. There were far fewer boxes than is normally the case when someone goes plasticware-buying. To top it all off, most of the boxes that they put back were UNOPENED! Who the fuck is stealing all of our plasticware?

It’s probably the same person that’s stealing the candy out of the bowl in the promotions department. I say we set up some hidden cameras and find out…

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