Archive for January, 2002

Rocket Made Of Cheese

Hi kids! Man, it’s been a long time since I last blogged, huh? So let’s see… I’m back at school and am =finally= taking only film classes. And doing pretty well, I might add. This quarter we’ve got a student produced television show that we broadcast =LIVE=. Everyone in the class seems pretty nervous about it, but I’m not. The class meets for three hours in the afternoon every Thursday afternoon and this upcoming Thursday is auditions. Until now, we’ve just been doing all the jobs (although some people were assigned to do specific jobs, but that’s not set in stone). I’m not sure what I want to do. For the past two weeks I’ve been telling everyone that I want to be a wild card (someone who can do any job) because I =can= do any job and I don’t want to do just one job. But the more I think about it, I want to be the director because it would drive me nuts to sit there and watch someone else fuck it up. After all, no one in this class can do as good of a job as I can in almost every position (after all, I know how to use pretty much all of the equipment fairly well) and no one (and I mean =NO ONE=) in the class takes this as seriously as I do. To me, this is the pinnacle of importance so far in our classes in the EMAF department. It is, to me, the single most important class we’re taking and the one to which the most time and effort should be devoted. If I were the director, I would have tons of creative control over the project. Plus all decisions that would be made live would be made by me. Oh, did I mention I’ve got experience directing a live shoot? Yeah, so I think I’m probably one of if not the most qualified person for the job. But here’s the rub: directing is the only position that makes me nervous. I can sit here and think about being a wild card, or the TD, LD, audio, a camera op, even the talent. Of all those not one gets me edgy, but mention director and my knees start to shake. I’m going to have to talk to my production teacher from last quarter and see what she thinks. Perhaps she can help me figure out what I want to do, or even help me calm my fears.

What else? Oh, Morah and I are doing great, but her ex-fiance, Bob, isn’t. He’s been a real jerk to her lately. Yesterday he called her and chewed her out on the phone for about an hour. She cried, of course, and I ran over to her room and spent a while there helping cheer her up. What an ass. If he doesn’t want to be her friend, why the hell doesn’t he just leave her alone? Even her friends are starting to turn on her, though. For someone reason they all agree with Bob. They’re all upset that she spends most of her time with me. Well holy fuck! We’re each other’s best friend =and= we’re going out! So what the fuck? No shit we’re going to spend all of our time together! Christ.

Last night I was laying in bed eating Wheat Thins with Easy Cheese (the snack of gods) when all of a sudden an air pocket in the Easy Cheese made its way to the nozzle and ejected the bit of cheese that was already in the nozzle all the way across the room with a roaring crack that caused both Morah and I to jump in surprise. The cheese landed on the side of my dresser which caused Morah and I to laugh our asses off. I just thought I’d share that with you in case you found it as funny as she and I did.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted about what happens with Bob and I, Morah and I, and the show and I.

The Real Reason They Sell Lube By The Gallon

We’re going to be networking our house today, so I’m not going to be able to be online for much longer. I hope the installation doesn’t take all day, I still need to pack my things and get ready to go back to school tomorrow!

Goldmine

I just saw an advert on TV for a product that is ‘guaranteed to make you stop snoring the first night you use it or your money back.’ How would you know?

Just Hello

I was looking through my desk today and I found some old papers that had little sayings on them. The first is one a saw on a tee-shirt. I swear it was spelled this way. “A friendry greeting to let you know I think you frequentry and want to say hello. JUST HELLO.” The second is written on a piece of paper that fell out of a book I was looking at. I can’t remember book it was, but here’s what the paper said: “Your water is cold as montaine says bath”. I don’t know what ‘montaine’ is, but if you can figure it out, let me know.

The Need For Speed

Hmm. I came on here to say something, found an interesting blog on the front page of Blogger, and have subsequently forgotten what I was going to say. I was reading most of my old blogs last night. I started all the way back at the beginning and read almost every single one from then until now. It was quite interesting. A lot has changed since then. It’s amazing how poor my spelling and grammar can sometimes be without my even knowing about it (until I read it later of course). I guess I need to practise typing a little more so I can do what I’m doing now (watching what’s being typed instead of watching the keyboard). It’s funny to try and think about typing. I don’t really think about which key I’m hitting or even how to spell a word. I just think of the word I want to type and my fingers do it. If they get it wrong (spelling it wrong, for example), my fingers know and they fix it on their own (usually). I don’t think about which key is where or in what order I need to push them, just what word I want to type. I getting good at special characters as well. My finger know where the period is, the comma, the colon and semi-colon, et cetera. The know where shift is, backspace, space, et cetera. Numbers and their special characters still need some work, though. I suppose I should try and teach myself to type properly, but that would only slow me down. I know! I’ll teach myself to properly type Dvorak! Then I’ll be able to type super fast…

It’s Important To Laugh At Yourself

I found this quote in an old blog entry of mine. I laughed my ass off. I love this quote. “When She and I were together I felt like a million bucks. Now I need to spend and spend until there’s nothing left. I’ll always save a little, though. A nest egg, if you will. What a stupid metaphor; I’m an idiot.”

William Tychonievich leads A Life Less Ordinary

Ravi: Wotto means swearing with someone else.

William: Um… swearing with someone else?

Ravi: Yeah. Like, instead of just swearing with yourself, you use somebody else.

William: When I say “fu”, you say??

Lesley: Ck! You’re right. It’s much easier with two people.

William: Much.

Ravi: Nonononono. Wotto doesn’t work like that. It’s like, you put a wotto on Lesley’s head that you’ll do whatever it is.

Lesley: On my head?

Ravi: Yeah. And then if he doesn’t do it, you’re supposed to die.

William: Cool!

Lesley: Hey!

Ravi: Nonono, you don’t actually die or anything. It’s like, in English you say “Cross my heart and hope to die,” but in Telugu it’s?

William: Cross my heart and hope Lesley dies.

Ravi: Exactly. That’s a wotto.”

From bouillabaisse for the soul – A blog by William Tychonievich

Criticism from Ms. HACK-ett

Whoa, whoa, whoa… Back up the short bus. What the fuck is this? How come this chick didn’t tell me about this? You know how I found this? Good old Google. I was just messing around and seeing if I could find my site on Google and I found this! Excuse me, but I’d like to rebut. First of all, I knew that Ms. Hackett was doing a research project about web design, but I did =not= give her permission to reprint any or all the e-mail I sent her (in reply to an inquiry from her). I am somewhat offended to read what she has to say about my site and my comments about my site, especially since she didn’t tell me how the information was to be used. She did not invite me to view her page before or after she wrote this ‘research essay’.

As for Shorn.com, that site blows ass. I’m sorry, but it is definately not “a much more easily navigated and visually appealing site.” How else was she wrong? “The mystery navigation that exists on the Minimum Wage Productions is not used on Shorn and the links are easily recognised.” This is 100% not true. Do you know how long it took me to find their damn links? Shorn is =much= too messy. The “dirty look that is becoming more and more popular on the web” did not appeal to me in the least. In fact, I don’t know why she thinks it’s so popular. I certainly haven’t seen many sites emulating that style. Shorn is not well coded, either. The links weren’t very descriptive, and some of the links I tried didn’t work properly. Shorn may have “tastefully used flash”, but if you don’t have flash (or a decent connection to the Internet), then you won’t be able to view the site. It is my personal belief that if you can’t see my site that’s your problem, but that doesn’t mean I’m not always trying to find ways to make it work cross-browser (by the way, if you =can= figure out how to get my site to work in Netscape, drop me a line. “Some webpages may suffer from an overuse of flash, but this page has tastefully used flash so as not to annoy the user.” So wait, how does this site not suffer from the overuse of flash? I’m pretty sure the entire site is flash. “There are many rollovers that use sound and image.” So wait, why then is my “rollover of a yin-yan” unnecessary (Note: I know it’s a yin-yang, but that’s how Ms. Hackett spelled it)? Becuase I’m trying to entertain the user? Do you know how many people have offered praise because of the yin-yang? Ms. Hackett is the first person I’ve ever heard compain about it. “I think the look and feel of [Shorn] is appropriate to this audience.” If that’s the case, why are you comparing Shorn and my site? I clearly stated in my e-mail that my site is a personal site for people to whom I give the address personally (And I quote from the e-mail I sent her, “I give [the address] out via word of mouth to people who I know will be able to view it properly.”). She should have realized that Shorn and my page have 100% (well, maybe 99%) different audiences and therefore cannot be compared. Apples and oranges. “The Minimum Wage Productions website on the other hand needs to rethink its use of navigation, cross browser/platform problems and use of type, colour and image.” Why? The only people who have complained about my site are Vince Flanders, Carla Hackett, and the mystery person who submitted the URL to webpagesthatsuck.com. Obviously it did not come across to Ms. Hackett that HOD Squared has a colour scheme. Black and white are the base shades with green being the primary colour of the site. Of course “the links are lime green”, that’s the fucking point. I would also like to know which images are the “ugly images” because they’re (mostly) original. That’s better than a lot of personal sites which tend to steal images from other sites. “I don’t think he justifies the cross platform/browser capabilities very well by saying he thinks about it and then chooses not to care.” What she needs to understand is that A) I have a lot of things to do in a typical day, so sitting around coding a separate version of my page for Mac or Netscape (or Lynx) users is not too high on the list of priorities, and B) I said that I only tell “people who I know will be able to view it properly.” Of ALLO, Ms. Hackett says, “It is a whole lot of very ordinary pictures that take too long to download and there is no explanation of what these pictures are about.” Duh. Didn’t she read the main page? I do believe it says that it’s a page by me for me and if you can’t see it, tough. And the pictures aren’t ordinary if you’re the intended audience. Since I’m my own intended audience, I find the pictures to be very interesting. If you don’t like them, don’t look at them.

I could write for another hour or so about how Ms. Hackett’s page is poorly structured, devoid of any interesting content, =very= poorly coded, riddled with spelling and grammatical errors, et hoc genus omne… I won’t, however, do that because (apart from not having the time), I don’t want to stoop to her level. Suffice to say, the only person who needs to rethink their use of type, colour, and image is Ms. Hackett herself.

Perhaps now would be a good time to let you know about some future plans for the site (some of which will, undoubtedly, please Ms. Hackett). I am going to move to a new URL (stay tuned for deatils), update HOD to work in Netscape (as soon as I figure it out. I’ve got an idea, but I’m not sure it’ll work), and =really= give ALLO a kick in the direction of web media (assuming I can find my copy of Flash and remember how it works). On top of all that, I’m thinking about starting a site to rival Studentfilms.com. Those are just the propsed ideas, anyway. I don’t actually know how much of it I’m going to do. I’m going to change the URL for sure. That will be happening in February (at which point I hope to have the new version of HOD up and working).

EDIT: Removed dead links. After much searching, I =FINALLY= found her critique of my site. I also added a link to what my site used to look like so that you can get an idea of what she’s talking about. Expired pages available thanks to the Internet Archive. -TJB 24 September 2004

If I can’t last three hours…

Morah left just three hours ago and already feel that empty feeling. Or maybe I’m just bored. I think it’s a combination of both, and that can’t be good. *sigh* She’s so wonderful. I’m so lucky to have found her.

Nihilo Sanctum Estne?

There is something terribly wrong with this.

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