Archive for January, 2005

Friday Funday XXII

Friday Funday brings you some fun and interesting links from my travels around the internet during the previous week.

SOCIAL SECURITY CRISIS!: The FAQ! [del.icio.us]

An extremely funny and sarcastic look at privamatupilous splendiferacy. Er, I mean the privatization of Social Security.

SeatSale: License to Sit [del.icio.us]

This chair has a, “magnetic stripe card reader and spikes that retract when a seating license is downloaded from a license server in response to input from the card reader incoroprated [sic] into the chair.” And yes, the spikes come back out when the license eventually expires.

The Angel Light [del.icio.us]

The Angel Light can reportedly see through walls, as if there was no barrier at all. Troy Hurtubise (the guy that built a suit that would protect him in a hand-to-hand encounter with a bear) says he invented it because of a recurring dream. That the fuck does he smoke before he goes to sleep?

Fake Thai Disneyland [del.icio.us]

I’m not sure what’s more amazing: That someone bothered to build a fake Disney theme park, or that Disney hasn’t sued yet.

Safecracking for the computer scientist [del.icio.us]

An amazing paper detailed the common vulnerabilities of safes in use today. This paper is so good that locksmiths and safe-makers are shitting themselves.

And the Verdict is…

FUCKIN’ TATTOO, BABY!

I totally called it.

Looming Over the Cat

I was looking around on craigslist today and I found that image. I laughed out loud. The picture is supposed to illustrate the loom that someone in Seattle is (or was) giving away for free. I hadn’t expected to see the cat, but I think it’s integral to the picture.

Foxy Oprah

Is it just me, or does Oprah like to make FOX’s programming her own? First she had her own little version of American Idol, and last week she had a Nanny 911-esque episode. I hope the studio execs at FOX are paying attention…

Actually, I have another, “is it just me?” for you.

Is it just me, or is television getting really predictable these days? For example, last night I was watching 24 and as soon as that guy showed up at the Araz family’s house, I knew that Behrooz was screwed. Then later in the show, Behrooz realises he’s going to be killed, so he kills the guy with his shovel, which I called as soon as Behrooz pulled the shovels out of the car.

Other shows have been easy to predict as well. The twist in My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss was that N. Paul Todd wasn’t deciding who to fire, but a secret boss named Mr. Big. As soon as I heard about this twist (well before the show hit the air) I said, “It’s a monkey.” Sure enough, a monkey was calling the shots. FOX canned the show before it ended, but you’ll be able to view the episodes you missed online soon.

There was another show that Morah and I were watching where I correctly predicted something, but I can’t recall what it is right now.

I mostly watch FOX, so I don’t have a lot of examples from other stations. Perhaps only FOX is becoming predictable.

I recall that when we were watching the episode of CSI with the “Sherlock Holmes” murder, I came up with the suicide theory (based on the evidence) before they revealed it on the show, but it turned out that it wasn’t a suicide. Of course, I was also able to tell that the suicide theory was incorrect because it was too far from the end of the show for them to solve the crime (sadly, CSI, like many crime shows, are predictable that way).

Moreover, last night’s 24 did have a nice twist at the end that I didn’t see coming. The black woman (whose name I can’t remember and isn’t on the 24 website) calls someone on her cell phone and it’s implied that she’s working with the terrorists.

So here’s another prediction for you (we’ll see if I’m correct). Bear in mind that the affiliates are just as clueless as everyone else about what’s going to happen (well, =I= am anyway. Some of the higher-ups might have a clue, but we lowly folk sure don’t know what’s going to happen). The network has been advertising a big shocker on this week’s OC. The ads make it seem as though Marissa and the bi chick (the one Seth was hooking it up with) are going to have a… Thing. And perhaps they will, but one of the scenes they’ve been showing in the promos is Marissa and the bi chick at the Cooper residence. Marissa is all wet (although it’s kind of hard to tell in the promo) and she takes her shirt off. She’s standing there in her bra and the bi chick is bent over (as though inspecting some part of Marissa). Then a guy walks in. I’m not sure what his character’s name is because I don’t actually watch The OC and he’s not listed on the official website. He’s not her dad, but I think he’s supposed to be her stepfather. Anyway, he walks in and says something to the effect of, “Oh my God, what did you do?” The bi chick stands up and turns to face him with a surprised look on her face. Marissa has a smile that slowly fades. And that’s all the promo shows you.

Now, they’re setting it up like he walks in on them in the middle of a lesbian love tryst, but given what he says (and what Morah tells me based on my prediction), I think he’s cross because Marissa got a tattoo. So we’ll all have to watch on Thursday night and see if I got it right.

Friday Funday XXI

Friday Funday brings you some fun and interesting links from my travels around the internet during the previous week.

The Madness of King George [del.icio.us]

This picture is an anonymous coronation day gift. Er, I mean, inauguration day gift.

The Polar Express: A Virtual Train Wreck [del.icio.us]

This guy tears The Polar Express a new one and shows why the film didn’t work. He also shows a few examples of how the film =could= have worked. This site is getting serious attention from big players in the film industry. Be sure to read the second half of his review here.

Snowflake Photomicrography [del.icio.us]

The Bentley Snowflake Collection at the Buffalo Museum of Science has a comprehensive collection of photomicrograph of snowflakes by Wilson Alwyn Bentley. These things are amazing.

Free songs from iTunes and Pepsi [del.icio.us]

Also known as, “The tilt trick still works.”

Jesus of the Week [del.icio.us]

Normally depictions of Jesus are no laughing matter, but after you get a load of some of the Jesii on this page, you won’t be able to hold it in.

Russian Music

If anyone can find or send me Ivan Kupala’s Kostroma (Diskoteka Avariya Remix) as an mp3, I’d greatly appreciate it. Better yet, if I can find the entire Zdorovo, Kostroma CD, that would be super cool.

New Avids

The Avids came today. This picture is mostly for Kris.

Bad fonts!

I have created a list of fonts to avoid, which you can find as a .jpg here. I will continue to add to this list as I find fonts that qualify.

The basic requirement for a font to make it on to the list is volume of use. In other words, the fonts on this list are overused. Some of them (comic sans, sand, papyrus, et cetera), you’ll likely recognize instantly, even if you’re not a font-a-holic or graphic designer.

I thought about adding unreadable fonts to the list, but there are =SO= many that it wouldn’t be feasible. Plus, you wouldn’t be able to read the name of the font to know not to use it! Besides, it should be common sense as to which fonts are readable and which aren’t.

You’ll notice that I have included look-alike fonts on this list (AdLib & Socket, Mistral & Stucco). If you see a font on this list that you recognize, but have always known it by a different name, let me know and I’ll add the look-alike.

Also, if you know of a font that you think qualifies to be on this list, please let me know!

My Hawaii Calendar

That’s me holding up the new 2005 Hawaii calendar. I was surprised at the quality from a CafePress.com item (I have been less than pleased with them in the past).

The calendar features 24 images I took while on my trip to Hawaii, as well as some interesting facts about what you see in each picture. The entire calendar was designed by me (well, the monthly images and cover were, anyway. You can’t edit the actual monthly grids at all, which really annoyed me). Most major U.S. holidays are listed and CafePress.com is now offering a 30-day, no questions asked return policy.

So step right up and buy your slick new 2005 calendar! All profits from the crap in my CafePress shop will go right back into keeping alifelessordinary.com online (since it doesn’t pay for itself otherwise).

At the time of this posting, I’m only offering the calendar and a bumper sticker. I used to have a mouse mat, but it’s currently being redesigned.

Speedticketbeaters.com or Bigfuckingcheaters.com?

In looking around on the internet today, I found a site called speedticketbeaters.com. I looked around their (crappy) site for a bit and found some testimonials. One of them was from an actual lawyer who had used their services and won his case.

I was suspicious.

So, as I often do when reading the testimonials of products about which I am suspicious, I checked the AnyWho to see if I could find contact info for the people listed.

Not a single person listed on their testimonial page exists in the AnyWho.

Anyone surprised?

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