closePlease note: This post was published over a year ago, so please be aware that its content may not be quite so accurate anymore. Also, the format of the site has changed since it was published, so please excuse any formatting issues.

Here at Eastern Washington University they have what’s called the Snow Line. The Snow Line is the official number to call to find out the status of classes at Eastern. The phone number for the Snow Line is (very aptly) 359-SNOW (that’s 359-7669). My phone number, on the other hand is 359-7609 (SN -n/a- W). People confuse the ‘o’ in snow with zero on the keypad and end up calling me. At ungodly hours. Usually when I’m asleep. This, as you can imagine, is very annoying. Compounded by the fact that I hate stupid people, a rather cruel solution was inevitable. I changed my voicemail message from my regular, quite dull message to a special one that sounded almost identical to the actual EWU Snow Line (my voicemail went so far as to claim to be the official EWU Snow Line). I then turned off my phone’s ringer and went to sleep. I didn’t check my messages this morning, but when I did check them this afternoon, I had =ELEVEN= new messages (and only three of them were ligitimate messages).

You may be asking, “How can you be so cruel?” Did I mention the ungodly hours? Moreover, if you’re stupid enough to call the wrong number and honestly believe that classes are cancelled, you deserve to be punished. It’s part of the dumbass clause (which dictates that, basically, if you’re a dumbass, all bets are off and you have no grounds for legal recourse). There are so many little discrepancies between the two that you really do have to be a dumbass to bollocks it up. The differences between the two include (but are not limited to):

1) The real Snow Line rings once before the message plays. My phone rings four times before the message plays.

2) The real Snow Line is not an answering service, ergo it does not beep when the message stops playing. My voicemail does.

3) The real Snow Line (almost) always includes the date. My message never does.

4) Classes are (almost) never cancelled.

5) THE NUMBER IS (and I cannot stress this enough) 359-7669, =NOT= 359-7609.

I’m sure there are other little things that are different about the two, but I’m either not sure what they are or I couldn’t think of them at the time I wrote this. Anyway, if you want to hear some of the messages left on my voicemail (as well as the real and fake Snow Line messages) check out the pranks section of my page.

EDIT: Changed from audio section to pranks section. -TJB 02 December 2004

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