Please note: This post was published over a year ago, so please be aware that its content may not be quite so accurate anymore. Also, the format of the site has changed since it was published, so please excuse any formatting issues.
Below are the much-anticipated answers to the Christmas Theses that Morah and I came up with. If you haven’t read the original post, be sure to check it out first.
- Argentum et Aurum: Methods for Appraisal – Silver and Gold – An easy one, especially if you Googled it. I’m particularly fond of the use of the Latin “et” instead of “and.”
- The Percussive Habits of Juvenile Males – Little Drummer Boy – Another easy one. We thought about mentioning the boy’s nationality (since he was supposed to be present at Christ’s birth), but we felt like this was an unnecessary detail. Fun fact: I hate this song more than any other Christmas song. Well, except Christmas Shoes.
- Seasonal Dressings for Interior Passageways – Deck the Halls – Pretty easy, and one of my favorites.
- Septal Anomalies Among Arctic Populations of Rangifer tarandus – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – This was one of the first ones we came up with. Again, if you Googled Rangifer tarandus, then the answer should have been rather obvious. We tried to think of a better word for nose, but septal did a decent enough job and had a lovely sound to it.
- A Study of Sonic Tonality Among Equine Sleigh Conveyance Alert Systems – Jingle Bells – This one is my favorite because of how ridiculously long the title of the thesis is relative to the title of the song.
- Hominid Structures in Water Solids – Frosty the Snowman – A bit abstract, and we were worried people might not figure it out. We tried to think of a good way to point out that we were talking about Frosty, but we knew that if we mentioned his name it would be far too easy.
- Copious Philanthropy Over the Course of a Fortnight – The 12 Days of Christmas – We worried that people might see “fortnight” and not be able to get the number 14 out of their minds, but just like with Frosty, if we say 12 or dozen, it becomes way too easy.
- Congregative Demonstrations of Well-Wishing with Ulterior Motives for Traditional European Seasonal Postprandial Delicacies – We Wish You A Merry Christmas – The reference to “Traditional European Seasonal Postprandial Delicacies” is, of course, figgy pudding.
- Colorimetry of Pinophytes of Germanic Heritage – O Tannenbaum – Unfortunately we cannot accept O Christmas Tree as a correct answer. The key here was that we specifically mentioned pine trees “of Germanic Heritage,” thus a reference to the original German title. I was trying to make a reference to the song’s repeated mention of the branches being green with the whole colorimetry thing.
- Recreational Entertainment Among Inuit Populations Versus Western Society: A Comparative Study – “We’ll frolic and play, the Eskimo way.” (from Winter Wonderland) – This is where it all started. The line got me thinking, “how is the Eskimo way different? Did someone do a study of Eskimo frolicking versus Western frolicking?” After that… Well like I said, Morah and I are huge nerds.