I swear I’m not addicted!

closePlease note: This post was published over a year ago, so please be aware that its content may not be quite so accurate anymore. Also, the format of the site has changed since it was published, so please excuse any formatting issues.

I was disturbed, this morning, to find out that I only have a few doses of hydrocodone left. While the swill does little to actually kill the pain in my throat, it certainly takes a semi-successful stab at numbing the pain. At least I am able to find a short respite once every four hours. After today, that may no longer be so. And the pain does not appear to be subsiding. While I did sleep in an extra hour this morning (causing me to take this morning’s dose an hour late), I do not know if I woke up because of the pain or by my own volition. I can only hope it was the latter, for I don’t know what I am going to do if I cannot sleep at night.

I am going to call the ENT today and ask them a whole bunch of questions about my throat. For example, “Should it still hurt this much this long after surgery? When is the pain going to stop? What is causing the pain?” My suspicion here is swelling. “Is there anything I can do to relieve the pain or the swelling? What exactly should I be eating?” Damn them, damn them all. I never wanted my tonsils out. I never wanted to get this sick. It screwed everything up! I’ve all but lost my job at the radio station, I missed a bunch of classes and almost failed math =again=, not to mention a couple of my other classes. It screwed up my effectiveness as an Orientation Leader and a Peer Mentor (two programs in which I enrolled at school). And it has caused me to feel like crap for =BLOODY AGES=. All I want to know is when the hell am I going to be normal again? I’ve felt like shit ever since September 19th and all I want is to not feel terrible for the rest of the fucking year. I mean, that’s almost one-third of the year I’ve been sick or in pain or just feeling generally crappy. Argle bargle.

Finally, I’d like to share the following with you. I found this to be the AIM away message for my good friend Kris.

“I like cheese. It is good. I want to make my own cheese. I would call it ‘Kris’Cheese’. That would be yummy. It would be shaped like a kitty. But then I would be sad eating it because I like kitties. But then, when I get lonely I could talk to it and pet it like I would a kitty. I could also save money on cat food. I would still have to worry about dogs chasing after it. But at least it wouldn’t poop on the rug.”

What a crazy guy.

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