‘today at work (i work in medical records at a hospital for the summer), i was doing a combination of heart failure, renal dialysis, behavioral health, and chemotherapy charts. it was just really depressing to see the advance directives that some of these people had signed (things like do not resuscitate orders) and what they have to say about their pain. i had a chart once where a chemo patient likened her pain to the feeling of a rake being pulled out of her chest. and then there are thirteen year olds trying to commit suicide who have to go back to parents and guardians who don’t really care. sometimes these kids have to fill out ‘evening goal’ sheets, like ‘oh, i’ll talk to my mom tonight and walk the dog’ and a parent has to sign them and write some commentary on the night. this one mother today kept returning the sheets with ‘she’s still being a bitch and very rude to me’ written on it. your child just tried to commit suicide in middle school and all you can say is that no, she didn’t walk the dog, she’s a bitch?!? that’s horrible. and the fact that i actually know some of these people makes it worse. once, in two days i had to prepare the charts of five different people i either know personally or know of. another time, one woman was so sick of having to have dialysis done that she pulled out her catheter at home and bled to death. and i start to recognize the cliched fact that everyone has their own personal issues that remain hidden to the world. some people that i’ve actually passed in real life and who i’ve thought were assholes (and some were) have problems much larger than anything i could ever pretend to understand. these ‘normal from the outside’ people have been through more emotionally than i would ever wish upon anyone.’
From .heart firmly on sleeve. – a blog by Jen S.0 People like this. Be the first!