Looking for Me?

closePlease note: This post was published over a year ago, so please be aware that its content may not be quite so accurate anymore. Also, the format of the site has changed since it was published, so please excuse any formatting issues.

I know I said I wasn’t going to post today, but I can’t pass this one up.

I was going through my site statistics this morning and found some really bizarre searches that led people to my site. Many of them are variations on “a life less ordinary”, but some of them left me scratching my head (I then Googled the phrase myself to figure out why my site was coming up). Here are some of the searches:

less brown – Okay, I can see why my site came up, but what were they looking for?

fandom perception obscenity – Uh, what?

hasemalphaginnojinglanaporphomism – I had forgotten about this! I wonder if they typed in the entire word.

“anal lube” brand – Nice.

“shane is dead” horse – It’s amazing how fast this stuff ends up getting indexed.

“the it crowd” skirt – Is there really a skirt, or were they looking for my IT Crowd upskirt post?

“trust your technolust” t-shirt – Oh man, I have got to get one of these! Incidentally, searching for this in Google brings up my site as the first result.

959dbc6bdc15529df7739dadf2419f5a – Google doesn’t know either.

_aa_ gee – This one threw me until I found out what page it was referring to.

beautiful 1vs100 contestant – Seriously? You think that’s the search query that’s going to bring up the result you’re looking for?

call someone a tom brown – Wait, is my name a derogatory term?

cheating bride porn – lol! My site is awesome. -)

crisco anal lube and crisco as anal lube – Okay, I know why this brings up my site, but it’s a little weird to think that I’m getting traffic from horny people who are actually willing to use Crisco as anal lube. Have you ever seen the stuff? Just buy real anal lube!

embarrassing photos anal lube – Apparently it just gets worse.

fat thomas brown – Hey!

is ingesting rust bad? – See, I’m not the only one concerned about this!

japanese cosplayers better than american – Do you really need to Google this to know it’s true?

mostly underage kids writing underage kids porn – Umm…

not an ordinary box website – I’ll say it isn’t!

picture of anal lube – Oh man, more of this?

pig out in the park webcam – How badly do you want to watch other people eat?

signs an outgoing girl likes you tease – Honestly, why does this query bring up my site?

speedticketbeaters realI told you their website sucks.

types of photo essays – Yeah, mine are a little… Different.

wikipedia. bo derrick – Really? My website?

how to kick over 5000 monkey metersSome people just can’t let it go!

is dan dunn the painter still alive – My site is, after all, the official blog of dead painters. But yes, Dan Dunn is still alive.

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  1. Some of the weird searches for my site:

    “ewu famous” Apparently I’m a famous alumni!

    “archivist+job+westchester” I applied for an archivist job with the Westchester County Archives in New York.

    “sexaholics speeches” What the fuck?

    “sexist horror films” What the fuck?

    “school hack bored” Whatever.

    “worthless trivia” Hey! It’s Useless History Trivia buddy. Get it right!

  2. Top Keywords Used in Google to Find My Website

    Back in September of 2007, I wrote about the bizarre keywords people entered in Google and ended up finding my site. A few days ago, I was poking through my Analytics and found more funny keywords, so here’s another post…

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