I went to an old friend’s website today and I saw that she had posted new pictures. Unfortunately, they were pictures of her with some guy. They’re kissing in one of the pictures. I was never able to date this friend (although I wanted to do for quite a while), and looking at those pictures makes me feel weird. I read things she’s written and I can’t figure out what happened to my friend. It’s like she’s gone and someone else has taken over. I feel that way about a lot of my friends, actually. I left for college and they all moved on. That’s part of the reason I don’t go back, I’m afraid that if I do, no one will care. I know things won’t be the same (which is how I want them to be). I sit here and wish that I could be back home; that things could be back to how they were when I was a senior in high school. But alas, that can never be. Everyone has changed, everyone has a new life that doesn’t include me. None of my old friends really even talk to me. Oh sure, a few people say hi every once in a while, but if I’m not on AIM for months at a time (which is usually the case here at school), no one sends me an e-mail to ask me what’s up or see how I’m doing. Even most of my friends now don’t even seem to care. Things have been changing so quickly over the past few years and it scares me more than anything because I’m not able to keep up. Every year I make friends, then lose them. Every year I get a job somewhere for a few months, then never go back. Things happen and there is no one I can trust anymore. I just want things to stay the same for a little while. I just want to find some friends who won’t desert me when someone who can give them something I can’t comes along. I just want to lead a sad little existence in a sad little town and not have anyone or anything bother me; at least for a little while.
As far as Bob goes, he’s still a cheese-dick, but at least he realizes it now (and, as such, has apologized to Morah). Morah and I are doing quite well. I got the director position for live production class. Woo-hoo. It’s pretty interesting sometimes. I’m still not really sure I want to be a director (we have two), but I am one, so I guess I’ve got to go through with it for now.
If anyone actually reads this, e-mail me and let me know if I should bother to keep writing in here.0 People like this. Be the first!