Want to see me violate the NFL’s copyright? Watch this:
The Patriots won the Super Bowl.
See that? See how I just posted an unauthorised account of the game? Oh yeah, I’m living life in the fast lane.
Everyone who knows me should know that the only reason I watch the Super Bowl (and ever have and ever will) is for the commercials. I hate football. I hate most sports. I love commercials.
Like the past couple of years, most of the commercials this year were mediocre at best. I don’t understand why companies are willing to spend millions of dollars to run crappy spots.
My favourite commercial was for
Liberty Mutual Ameriquest. It’s the one where the guy goes over to his girlfriend’s flat to cook her a romantic dinner, but the cat knocks the pot of spaghetti sauce off the stove. I’ll try to find a link for you. Find link infra.
The worst commercial was… Probably that stupid Blockbuster spot where the guy drives his car out to his mailbox to “rent a video”. How long are we going to have to watch that crappy ad?
But ho! The Super Bowl wasn’t the only show being heavily advertised today! There was a new episode of The Simpsons and a preview of American Dad! So how were they? Three words:
Worst. Simpsons. Ever.
It had no point! It just ended! What the fuck? It wasn’t even that funny! Were they even trying? It sure didn’t seem like it.
And what of the much anticipated American Dad? Upon seeing a special preview of the show about a week ago, my boss, Adam, called it, “Family Guy, but edgier.” Was it? Not really. I laughed a few times, but overall I found the characters to be vapid and annoying. Family Guy is a funnier show by far.
UPDATE: Here’s a link to all the Super Bowl ads. Thanks Kris!
It also came to my attention that I forgot to mention the GoDaddy.com predicament. According to GoDaddy.com, FOX wouldn’t let them air a second ad that was supposedly more offensive than the one that was on the air. I watched the second ad and frankly, I think the first ad is more… Provocative. In fact, they were supposed to run the ad a second time, but the NFL and FOX yanked it! Read all about it here.
Something that really disappointed me this year was everyone’s complete fear of offending anyone. Have you seen that beer spot that explains last year’s “wardrobe malfunction”? Fucking hilarious. But it didn’t hit the airwaves during the Super Bowl because they were afraid the FCC would fine them. And for what? Nothing actually happened during the spot that, in my opinion, could be considered overtly offensive.
Okay, so, other good (read: not a total waste) ads (in my opinion) were:
Bud Light: While You Were Out
Ameriquest: Taser Scare
Emerald Nuts: Unicorns
FedEx: Dancing Burt
Frito Lay: MC Hammer Makes a Comeback (only because they throw him back over the fence at the end)
McIlhenny Tabasco: Tanlines (was she =HOT= or what?)
Toyota Hybrid: Get Moving
Visa: Can Superheros Help? (only because of Wonder Dog at the end)
I suppose a “best of” also deserves a “worst of”, so without further ado:
Bud Light: Cockatoo to the Rescue – Honestly, what was the point of this ad? It was stupid. Not funny at all, just annoying.
CareerBuilder.com: All three of their ads. – I mean come on, monkeys? Why is it that every year someone makes a spot with monkeys (well, chimps I suppose) in it?
Silestone: Dennis Rodman – I know what you’re all thinking, because I was thinking the same thing, “He’s still around?” Just a plain, old, stupid commercial.
Heineken: Brad Pitt – Some people are just trying too hard. And failing.
MBNA: Gladys Knight Plays Rugby – This one started out just fine because they made fun of how wussy American football is compared to rugby, but it totally lost me when Gladys Knight showed up. Stupid ad.
McDonalds: Lincoln Fry (1 & 2) – I haven’t liked McDonalds ads for a long time. By the way, you can bid on the Lincoln fry prop here (be warned, though, at the time of this posting bidding is up to $21,600.00. At one point yesterday, I saw the bidding up to over $350,000! I guess a lot of people retracted their bids when they realised what the fuck they were doing).
Degree: Degree for Men – Two words: Buddy Lee.
Napster: Do the Math & Times Are A-Changing – Weak, guys, really weak. Does anyone else see the problem in Napster’s logic?
Subway: New Toasted Sandwich – For so many reasons! How about their stupid campaign leading up to the Super Bowl (you know, all those cryptic, “They’re Coming” ads). How about their ugly new graphics? How about the fact that =TOASTED SUBS AT SUBWAY ARE NOT A NEW THING=? They’re coming? They’ve been here for months!
So what about all of the spots I didn’t mention? Well, I guess they’re doomed to mediocrity.
And the official winner for most stolen idea: Ford Truck’s “Tougher Than Bikers”! Congrats on stealing your idea from one of your competitors (the Dodge Ram Bighorn).
One last thing about the Super Bowl that I forgot to mention, did anyone else see that =super= hot chick in the furry hoodie right near the final two minute mark? The had a shot of her for just a few seconds, but damn! If anyone taped the Super Bowl, send me a screenshot of her, will you?0 People like this. Be the first!