Every so often I get the desire to create something. Unfortunately, this desire doesn’t usually include websites. I want to paint a picture, build furniture, draw a web comic, shoot a video, and so on. The problem (besides not having enough time) is that I often lack the muse, the tools, or the technical skills required to accomplish my goals.
Sometimes the feeling is more abstract; I know that I want to create something, but I’m not sure what. In high school, I used to paint after school every once in a while. A friend and I would take a long strip of butcher paper, lay it on the ground, and paint. Inspiration was haphazard at best, and it was during one of these painting sessions that I first learned from a teacher about Jackson Pollock.
This desire to make something without the ability is frustrating, which seems only to fuel the desire further.
I suppose at some point I need to admit to myself that even with all the time and money in the world, the skill required to fulfill my desires will always elude me. Even if I could learn the skills, I don’t know that I could find the correct inspiration. At work, I look at what the graphic designers do and am blown away. Even in film making — something that I do well — I see the work of other directors and know that I would never have thought to do the same thing.
How do you know when you’re the best at something? When people tell you that you are? No matter how depressing it feels to be so far from that level of creativity and skill, it must be equally depressing to know that your success is transitory, and that you are surrounded by your successors.
Is this what the human struggle is all about? Do we live our lives in a vain attempt to be unique? I’m certainly not content to simply be a cog in the system, but without cogs, the system wouldn’t run. Must our passions always only be our hobbies?0 People like this. Be the first!