Top Keywords Used in Google to Find My Website

closePlease note: This post was published over a year ago, so please be aware that its content may not be quite so accurate anymore. Also, the format of the site has changed since it was published, so please excuse any formatting issues.

Back in September of 2007, I wrote about the bizarre keywords people entered in Google and ended up finding my site. A few days ago, I was poking through my Analytics and found more funny keywords, so here’s another post about them. Multiple search queries are separated by commas.

thomas brown leads a life less ordinary – There were 75 visits using this query, and the average time on site was roughly 10 minutes. I guess I’m starting to get popular!

thomas j brown spokane – That’s quite specific. I wonder who was looking for me…

converter box – This was the second most popular search term. I guess people will get their information from anywhere, huh?

shamwow, are shamwows for real, does the sham wow work?, is shamwow real – I guess a lot of people wondered the same thing I did.

shamwow t shirt – Actually, if you made a T-shirt out of the ShamWow! material, that would be a pretty good idea.

“recon 2023” “prime conspiracy” – Huh? I don’t even know what this is, let alone how people got to my site by searching for it.

convertitore thomas – I don’t know what a convertitore is, but now I kind of want business cards with that on it.

dr. thomas j brown – “Dr. Thomas J. Brown, Convertitore.”

thomas j. brown fbi – “Dr. Thomas J. Brown, Convertitore, F.B.I.” Too much?

secular sneezeI think you just say “you” afterward.

starbucks what substitutes for melon syrup – Probably just Karo Syrup.

what does it mean to have morals – Well, if you have to ask…

crisco for anal lube – Seriously, people, just go buy anal lube. Crisco can’t be healthy for you.

ive been eating mcdonalds a lot lately – Good for you?

girl wearing a ninja mask – Actually, that could be kinda hot.

manufacture fiberglass lion drinking fountain – A HA! I’m not the only one.

“crowd upskirt”, “the it crowd” jen carpet, it crowd jen upskirtThat’s twice now.

cat cam – One day, Kisa, one day…

monkey – What? That’s it? Just monkey?

There were some very unexpected ones, too:

dirty crosswordThe phrase itself isn’t what surprised me, but the fact that 8 people searched for it.

dancing nakedwomen, naked dancing women – What pages on my site did they find?

ordinary + nude + women, ordinary naked women – I really didn’t think I posted about nude women all that much.

see women strip, stateline strip club, teen porno faic gallery – Hmm. Maybe I do post about nude women a lot.

how much cost dream love chair – What the?

lives less ordinary sex change – Seriously, this is how people find my blog?

brown on the back of my teeth what’s going on – You should see the look on my face right now. I don’t even know what to say.

Finally, what was the most popular search term last month? Hands down, people were interested in Shane. 64 people, to be exact. Here is every single Shane-related query made that lead to my site during January of 2009:

does shane die, does shane die at the end, did shane die at the end, is shane dead, “does shane die”, shane dead, shane dies, did shane die at the end of the movie, did shane die at the end of the movie?, does shane die at the end of the movie, does shane die at the end?, does shane die?, was shane dead?, d.o.a film does he die at end?, did shane die at the end of the moviie and/or book?, did shane die at the end?, does shane die at end of movie, does shane die at the end of shane?, does shane die in the end, does shane really die at the end, he rides into the sunset slumped over his horse dead, homo eroticism shane, im sure alan ladd died at end of shane, is shane dead at the end of the movie, is shane dead at the end?, is the movie shane the same as the book?, shane + “does shane die”, shane 1952 movie, shane and movie ending and dead, shane dies 4, shane dies in the end, shane does die, shane is shane dead, shane movie dies, was shane dead, was shane shot at the end of the movie?, what was the gun used in the movie shane

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7 Comments

  1. Hey Thomas,

    You sure have some interesting keywords!

    I like to track my keywords too, but don’t seam to have many crazy keywords that stand out for my blog.

    I’m not as lucky I guess!

  2. Mara

    My Lord, this is the funniest post ever. If you didn’t get enough hits for Crisco the Anal Version and/or strippers with kittens and melon syrup, you will now. 🙂

  3. I never realized so many people cared about the end of Shane. Hmm. The answer of course is

  4. Recon 2023 was my fault. Sort of.

  5. Oh man, I had forgotten about that movie. I guess that just goes to show how truly awful it was.

  6. Kiani

    To get to your site I just type in ‘li’, and my google search just pops up…life less ordinary thomas brown.

  7. bbppfttt. That made me spit juice on my keyboard.

    I wish i could take credit for *any* of those. (if unclaimed by the end of the day, I’d like to put my name by brown on the back of my teeth what’s going on.)

    Looking at searched phrases makes me wonder if American Grammar really is THAT bad, or if people think Google is so retarded that it won’t understand coherent strings of words.

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