Walking Out

closePlease note: This post was published over a year ago, so please be aware that its content may not be quite so accurate anymore. Also, the format of the site has changed since it was published, so please excuse any formatting issues.

As a film major, I tend to watch movies through to the end, no matter how bad they are. There’s almost always some lesson to be learned, even if it’s how not to make movies.

In fact, as well as I can remember, I have only ever intentionally stopped watching one movie (I say intentionally stopped, because when I was 7, we had to leave the theatre in the middle of Big Top Pee-wee because I had a stomach ache. And when you’re channel surfing or killing time, you usually don’t start watching a movie with the intention of making it all the way through. At least, I don’t). That movie was Tideland. I like Terry Gilliam’s movies, but after 30 minutes, I didn’t give a shit about any of the characters, was bored out of my mind, and really wanted to spend the next 90 minutes of my life doing anything else.

Well, today I have officially (intentionally) stopped watching my second movie. It’s called Recon 2022: The Mezzo Incident. I have no idea what the writers of this movie were thinking when they wrote it, but it’s absolutely awful. The story is weak, the characters are flat and predictable, and the actors can’t even deliver their shitty lines well. All-in-all, this is a bad movie. Not even nude boobs were able to save it!

From now on, I’m going to have to check out the IMDb ratings for movies before I start watching them.

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12 Comments

  1. The real question, though, is did you see the FIRST movie…Power Corp.? And will you be seeing the next film in the series, which is apparently “bigger, badder and nuttier” according to one of the writers? Shooting now in Montreal, but coming soon to DVD, Recon 2023: The Gauda Prime Conspiracy. Oh yeah!

    Ok, and now for the REAL real question – what the hell? Why did you even rent/buy/download this movie?? There are SO MANY great (or at least compulsively watchable) films out there…and you’re slumming with a straight-to-DVD-release that Wal-Mart doesn’t even stock in their bins?

    I’m not saying you need to be watching Antonioni or Godard or Bergman…but…BUT…man.

    The next time you’re in the mood for a “bad” movie, may I suggest “Final Destination”, “Jeepers Creepers” (the first, NOT the second), or, and I know this isn’t a movie, but it’ll make you feel just as guilty, the FX show “Nip/Tuck”. 🙂

  2. It happened to be on a list of movies that I was already acquiring, so I thought, “what the hell.” I had no idea what it was — or how bad.

    As for the other movies you suggested, I dislike the horror/thriller genre; it just doesn’t do it for me at all. And I’ve never been interested in watching Nip/Tuck. That said, Dexter didn’t sound interesting when I first heard about it, but I love the show.

    Of course, the real point here is that I wasn’t trying to watch a bad movie in the first place. I agree that there are a ton of genuinely good movies, and I’d much rather be watching those. Like I said, next time I don’t know anything about a title, I’m headed to the IMDb.

  3. In regards to “Jeepers Creepers”, it has a relatively young Justin Long in it, which is really what makes it watchable. And “Final Destination” makes literally ZERO sense, but the death scenes are so convoluted that they transcend both logic and the rest of the film to approach a nearly epic level of absurd Grand Guignol.

    Anyway.

    I firmly believe that people NEED bad movies – I don’t really know how to explain it, but much like porn, we all know it when we see it. Those movies that have absolutely no redeeming qualities, but for some reason tickle a part of our brain that we rarely exercise.

    I can’t tell you how often Lindy and I will be looking at our current Netflix crop – usually high-brow films that I’ve read about in cinema history books but have never seen – and we’ll just look at each other wishing we had “The Wedding Date”.

    I guess a “bad movie” really should be defined subjectively. Perhaps as “a movie that you wouldn’t want anyone to know you like”? What do you think?

  4. Yeah, I definitely know what you mean. Along with Recon 2022, I also got Fool’s Gold and 27 Dresses.

    And Mike, before you tell me I’m not a real man, I already know. -)

  5. Oh my God – “27 Dresses”! We actually watched that on one of those “UGH – all the Netflix movies won awards” nights. With FOUR Netflix DVDs sitting on our entertainment center, we walked to the video store down the street from us and rented “27 Dresses”. Good times.

  6. I sorta hate to admit this, but I liked 27 Dresses. The movie was so predictable, but Katherine Heigle is soooo watchable.

  7. Wow, 6 comments in under an hour? I really need to post more frequently.

  8. Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens? Do you see what happens when you FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS?

  9. Did you hear that they were making a Big Lebowski 2? Bigger Lebowski is wha….nah, sorry I couldn’t write this with a straight face.

  10. Okay, we have to remember, the greatest bad movie that we’ve all enjoyed together. It just happened to be the night before your wedding – Hard Ticket to Hawaii. That was the greatest bad movie and still watchable – hell we now own it! (and the two others that came in the box set)

  11. Hard Ticket to Hawaii is a perfect example of a movie where nude boobs did save the movie. Best quote from the movie: “I do my best thinking in the hot tub!”

    My favorite bad movie is the classic Denise Richards film, Tammy and the T-Rex. It’s so good that I own 2 copies (both on VHS).

  12. I really liked 27 Dresses. I know it was predictable and at times a little too “this has work in other movies so we should try it here.” But there is something comforting in knowing what’s going to happen and that it all works out in the end. I know, Thomas, life doesn’t work that way and that is exactly why I sometimes need movies that do. Right now my favorite bad movie is Ice Spiders, a Sci-Fi original that is begging for a sequel. My favorite will probably change in a few months or at least when I finally write my epic Night of the Sloth trilogy. (I’ve decided it has to have sequels to make it truly great… err awful).

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