Photo Essay: An Anal Look At Anal Lube

Posted by Thomas J. Brown at 1310 hrs

Today I was looking for a picture I had seen previously on the Internet that featured a couple on the couch and a tub of anal lube on the table next to them. It didn't take me long to find the picture. After I saved the image (so I could e-mail it to a friend who wanted to see it), I started looking at some of the other pictures. What I found was the potential to do a very interesting study on lubricants. For example, the original ANAL LUBE brand anal lube (as seen in the photograph) is also available in a cinnamon scent (note that it's "HOT" anal lube). I suppose it could be cinnamon flavored, but I wasn't able to find any proof either way. Another hot anal lube to try is HOT GEL, although considering it's a pain in the ass (no pun intended) when my anus burns after eating spicy food, I don't think this would be very comfortable (comfort is, I feel, a quality that is desirable in any anal lube). Other "flavors" include a cherry flavored anal lube called ANAL EAZE. More experienced users may wish to try Adam & Eve PRO ANAL LUBE (amateurs need not apply). For an "out-of-this-world" experience, try PROBE brand anal lube. Note the alien-green coloring of the bottles. REAR ENTRY brand anal lube claims that it, "Numbs your most sensitive spots." I can also see a sticker on the bottle that reads, "Learning the ropes." I'm not sure I want to know. In times of national tragedy, the country must come together and always be sure to buy American products. ANAL LUBE brand anal lube (which is apparently different from the other ANAL LUBE brand anal lube insofar as it doesn't have a handy pump dispenser) is "Made in the USA" and comes in both original and cherry scents.

In my search I was able to find a number of products that bothered me slightly. Two brands of anal lube I would never use based on their name alone are LUBRIFIST and SPIKE (despite the fact SPIKE claims to be, "The ultimate anal lube."). Probably the oddest and most unsettling anal lube I was able to find was Crisco.

The moral of the story? There are a lot of great anal lubes on the market, but when the time comes to choose one, don't be too anal about it.

UPDATE: Comments temporarily closed due to absurd amounts of spam.